Professor Know-It-All, in his infinite wisdom and tackiness, has decided to create a mail only 'Ask' forum for all you hapless harbingers of hell...

Here's how it works: You spend the Professor a letter 'The Hub' (which is where he lives), and he returns whenever he gets the time. You must include your own address...

Ask anything related to SCIENCE, and the Pro will happily divulge his wisdom;

For example, here's one from Ian

Ian Perry Freeley, 28 Corntown,
Iowa, 88888
USA

Hey Professor, I have a somewhat embarrassing question. Whenever I have a shower in the morning, I always feel like...well, you know, peeing...freely. It's particularly embarrassing because your shower has an aluminimum floor. I never seem to need to go until I feel the water, then spuuurt!!! What causes this and how can I remedy it?

Regards, Ian


A. Well Ian, that's a common dilemma you have. It's called urinating at inappropriate but strangely convenient times and situations. It is caused because when you have a shower, your co...your urethra follows the example of the showerhead and let's it all out. That's right! They can be hard to live with, those urethras...Well, the spinchter opens itself up. The solution: simply tie a ribbon round the offending appendange, so it will not have the opportunity to empty itself all over the shower. Ala.


So, there you have it...send Professor Know-It-All your problems any time of day! Cos God knows who else would solve your problems!

Am I the King of the World?

Am I the King of the World?


A. You did not include your return address

B. That is not a scientific question

I'm a man of great patience, but such time wasting shall not be tolerated! Professor Know-It-All has alot of bootleg tapes of 90s nickeloden tapes to watch...

Who's Professor Know It All?

Who's Professor Know It All?


No questions of a personal nature.

No questions of a personal nature.


ummm ok

let's see

Brian, 19, Cleveland
Ohio, 99999
USA

Hey Professor, will I be famous someday?

Regards, Brian.

ummm ok

let's see

Brian, 19, Cleveland
Ohio, 99999
USA

Hey Professor, will I be famous someday?

Regards, Brian.


Why do you continue to aggravate the Professor? I said questions of a Scientific nature, I did not study at the school of Fortune telling, bah! Come back when you've got a proper question.

Why do you continue to aggravate the Professor? I said questions of a Scientific nature, I did not study at the school of Fortune telling, bah! Come back when you've got a proper question.


;D Sorry Professor I'm stupid. lol

;D Sorry Professor I'm stupid. lol


It does not require a Professor of my calibre to ascertain that, my near numb-skulled friend...

Why do people say hes out like a light?
doseint a light turn on just as fast?
cant people say wow hes on like a light?

Jamie, 29,
Somewhere In Canada,
No fixed postal code

Does Bigfoot exist?

Why do people say hes out like a light?
doseint a light turn on just as fast?
cant people say wow hes on like a light?


Eh?  :D

Jamie, 29,
Somewhere In Canada,
No fixed postal code

Does Bigfoot exist?


Yes he does. He's working at a diner in Weed, California. Customer's call him 'The Hairy One'. Though he prefers people to believe he doesn't exist.

Dear Professor,

If a person was stranded alone with no food, how long would they survive if they resorted to auto-cannibalism?

Yours Truly,
Iwana Burger
Palm hut #1
Pacific Ocean, Earth

Yes he does. He's working at a diner in Weed, California. Customer's call him 'The Hairy One'. Though he prefers people to believe he doesn't exist.


In southern Oregon, there's a sign that says:

Weed
San Francisco

;D

http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/services/its/elab/services/webtools/blogs/madprof.jpg

Dear Professor,

If a person was stranded alone with no food, how long would they survive if they resorted to auto-cannibalism?

Yours Truly,
Iwana Burger
Palm hut #1
Pacific Ocean, Earth


The very idea...why most people wouldn't even concieve of something so ghastly.

Tell me, Iwana burger (if that really is your name) how YOU would go about it?