DESIGNING WOMEN:

Dear Charlene,

Since you left we have been dealing with your sister Carlene. She is very sweet and, occasionally funny, the problem is- she's soooooo dumb. I mean, you graced us with naivety that was pure and innocent but never, well rarely ever, did you come across as having a low iq. I wouldn't be surprised if, with testing, we'd find your sister has some deficiency upstairs... I know this probably hurts but please dump Bill, leave Olivia with him in England and get your ass back here... I need you!

Mary Jo.



Dear Suzanne,

What the hell did you do to me? I had to put up with your racist point of view and you self centered attitude, but, deep down, you cared about people.  And, it took a few years, but you actually learned something and developed a sort of tolerance that is unmeasured. I must say, even at your worst you were never the snob that Allison is. Julia is about to kill her. Truth is, so am I. No one likes her. We didn't always get you but you were likable- even when we had to deal with your pet pig Noelle you were more likable. Hell, that crazy maid of yours Consuela is more likable.

Please come home, I will never complain about your silly schemes again!

Anthony.

HAPPY DAYS:



Hey! Rich!

How'z the military treating you? I mean it's good thing serving your country right? But, see, here's the thing- Roger is the squarest dude on the planet, you know. I thought I had to help you out a lot but sheesh- That Roge sucks the cool even out of me WHOA!
So, get yourself out, anyway you can and get back here. We need you red!

Aaaayyyyy!

Fonz. 

FACTS OF LIFE:


Hey there Mrs G, How's it hanging? Married life treating you alright I hope.  see, here's the thing... your sister Bev-

She's crazy (shut up nat) but she is looney tune, short a cracker out the box.

That's not how to get to Mrs G

I know how we get her back, we bribe her! (Yeah Blair, that's bound to work) Well it worked for Mother. She lost her maid to Bitzy Carmichael but Mother just offered Carmella more money and she came back.


Here's how you do it.. Mrs Garrett. Natalie is pregnant and the father of her baby is named Snake.  (Get outta here Tootie!)

You know, Mrs. G, Tootie has a point. When you lived here we were all still virgins and there weren't boys living here. Andy's a good kid but he always gets in the way. And it's weird that he sleeps in the basement.  And then there's Pippa- did we really need an Aussie exchange student? It''s hard enough sharing the spot light between the four of us- why did we need another girl? We covered those puberty issues years ago.

Please come home Mrs G. We need you.


Jo, Nat, Blair and Tootie.

BONES:


Hey Zach,

How ya doing? I know prison is hard man but you know, you don't have to be there. Just tell the truth about what happened with Gormogon and they're bound to set you free.  All the assistants combined just aren't as smart as you. The one sleeping with Sweets is rather annoying. The prude is no fun. The Indian is, well, I just can't trust him now that I know he was faking it all this time. And then there's the one who slept with Angela. I can't handle the competition man. Plus, King of the Lab means very little now.  Cam won't admit it but I know she'd welcome you back. Our experiments were far less destructive and Brennan? She would prefer to work someone she trusts.  Booth probably doesn't really care one way or the other but if Brennan is happier then so is Booth.  

Please take care of yourself and think about what I said.

Hodgins.

FACTS OF LIFE:


Hey there Mrs G, How's it hanging? Married life treating you alright I hope.  see, here's the thing... your sister Bev-

She's crazy (shut up nat) but she is looney tune, short a cracker out the box.

That's not how to get to Mrs G

I know how we get her back, we bribe her! (Yeah Blair, that's bound to work) Well it worked for Mother. She lost her maid to Bitzy Carmichael but Mother just offered Carmella more money and she came back.


Here's how you do it.. Mrs Garrett. Natalie is pregnant and the father of her baby is named Snake.  (Get outta here Tootie!)

You know, Mrs. G, Tootie has a point. When you lived here we were all still virgins and there weren't boys living here. Andy's a good kid but he always gets in the way. And it's weird that he sleeps in the basement.  And then there's Pippa- did we really need an Aussie exchange student? It''s hard enough sharing the spot light between the four of us- why did we need another girl? We covered those puberty issues years ago.

Please come home Mrs G. We need you.


Jo, Nat, Blair and Tootie.



Snake.  ;D

Snake.   ;D


I ways thought nay could've done better than snake.

X-Files

Fox,

I know that you (the actor, David Duchovny), didn't like the weather in Vancouver, too rainy and what not, but not having you on season eight, and the dude from Terminator 2, instead, kind of dragged the series down.

And he was no Fox Mulder.

I mean the chemistry between, him and Gillian Anderson, was kind of blahish,

Really, really blahish, extremely blahish.  But then again, don't get me started on Playing God or like House of D.

Me, a kind of fan of X-Files

X-Files

Fox,

I know that you (the actor, David Duchovny), didn't like the weather in Vancouver, too rainy and what not, but not having you on season eight, and the dude from Terminator 2, instead, kind of dragged the series down.

And he was no Fox Mulder.

I mean the chemistry between, him and Gillian Anderson, was kind of blahish,

Really, really blahish, extremely blahish.  But then again, don't get me started on Playing God or like House of D.

Me, a kind of fan of X-Files



or....

Mulder,

I must say I didn't properly appreciate the chemistry you and I had until after it was gone. This new guy is stiff and boorish and... he runs funny.  I miss you more than I thought I would. 

Yours,
Scully

or....

Mulder,

I must say I didn't properly appreciate the chemistry you and I had until after it was gone. This new guy is stiff and boorish and... he runs funny.  I miss you more than I thought I would. 

Yours,
Scully


Even better!

;D

BEWITCHED

Dear Darren,

They tried to trick me by giving me a new Darrin but I wasn't fooled. I knew immediately that it wasn't my Darren.
I realize that we're at the height of the sexual revolution but there is still fear in mainstream America to show women as independent. I suppose that's why I've always had to suppress my power and ask for "permission" to use it. Mostly, I'm only allowed to use witchcraft to aid my domestic duties. I have secretly resented the fact that both of you Darrens have tried to control me but I must say you, Darren number one, did so with much more finesse. Sure you could be over the top, highly animated and a bit ridiculous but you weren't a loudmouth lout.    Come back to me darling Tabitha and I need you.

Samantha.

BEWITCHED

Dear Darren,

They tried to trick me by giving me a new Darrin but I wasn't fooled. I knew immediately that it wasn't my Darren.
I realize that we're at the height of the sexual revolution but there is still fear in mainstream America to show women as independent. I suppose that's why I've always had to suppress my power and ask for "permission" to use it. Mostly, I'm only allowed to use witchcraft to aid my domestic duties. I have secretly resented the fact that both of you Darrens have tried to control me but I must say you, Darren number one, did so with much more finesse. Sure you could be over the top, highly animated and a bit ridiculous but you weren't a loudmouth lout.    Come back to me darling Tabitha and I need you.

Samantha.



Not Adam, too?



Cat

Mary Tyler Moore


Rhoda,

Dear sweet Rhoda.  I need you. You were the only sane person in my life. Well there's also Murray but he's a tad dull and Mister Grant who's a tad grumpy. You my friend were smart and funny with that witty repartee that always made me laugh!

I miss you.  And, after careful consideration on the subject, I really don't think Joe is the right guy for you. You should just come back to Minneapolis where you are appreciated... and where you were funnier.


Your friend,
Mary

Dear Chuck,

Where did you go? You went off to college and then we never heard from you ever again. Even Mom & Dad never talk about you. I'm sure Joanie doesn't even remember you because she was so young when you left. Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner just isn't the same since you left. But, I do enjoy having your room.


Your loving brother,
Richie



Cat

^ nice  :)