I was glancing over the website, "The Smoking Gun"....and I came across a section where they published excerpts from the backstage riders of a few dozen performers.  I just couldn't believe the demands that these people had...I mean, who do they think they are..demanding things like all natural food, drinks served in clear cups only...no opaque ones, etc..etc...it nearly made me sick.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html

I was glancing over the website, "The Smoking Gun"....and I came across a section where they published excerpts from the backstage riders of a few dozen performers.  I just couldn't believe the demands that these people had...I mean, who do they think they are..demanding things like all natural food, drinks served in clear cups only...no opaque ones, etc..etc...it nearly made me sick.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html


Some of them were surprising in the general lack of wanting completely frivolous things though: the Black Eyed Peas and Guns N' Roses riders were fairly spartan in content. One funny item specified by TLC was a good porta-potty behind the stage.

It'll take me a while to look through all of those listings, but glancing over several of them made me realize what you are saying. For instance, the Red Hot Chili Peppers water requirements were just pretentious and stupid. Britney Spears needs a total of 1850 Amps of 3 phase power to lip sync her songs? Too bad all that lighting doesn't make her sing better.  ;D

If Britney used all that power during a 3 hour show, she would use roughly 700$ worth of electricity...



If I make a rider of my own, you know, just in case I become famous overnight or something...

~Feed me. Chef's/promoter's choice. Try not to give me food poisoning. No tuna fish casserole. In the event this isn't possible, point me toward the nearest vending machine that doesn't steal your money and has somewhat fresh snacks.  Drinks to be varied and procured from a local source with a VIP discount card, ala Food Lion. Bring me beer and water. Water optional if tap water doesn't taste like crap (Void in Mexico and in parts of Arkansas). Fruit juices and V-8 optional, however, a generous tip of 4$ shall be given to the provider of such beverages. Cups optional: I can drink from the jug/can.

~House me. A clean room would be good. Air conditioning is a requirement if the ambient temperature is expected to exceed 80*F. If the plumbing in the room is marginal, please let me know in advance and supply a plunger. No 1-ply toilet paper: something gentler than 100 grit sandpaper must be provided for matters of, you know (you do know, right?).  Clean towels a must. TV unnecessary in non-English speaking countries, unless they have porn channels. A phone should be provided: rotary is acceptable. No hidden cameras/bugs, please. Functioning door locks a plus.

~Stage requirements: I need a stage, preferably one with floors that are not sticky and have some structural integrity... and a power supply that won't fry my marginal setup. Outside the USA, a converter to 120V 60Hz should be available if mine fails or is shipped to Siberia by accident by our ever increasingly incompetent airlines. Enough lighting so that the crowd can see me, but not so much that they can see my love handles. Anyone aiming a spotlight or other high intensity lighting in my face will be shot upon my regaining my vision. NO DISCO BALLS! Sound equipment should be ample enough so that the fans can hear me, but not so much that the stock in Goody's Headache Powder doubles overnight, unless I'm informed prior to the concert about said over amplification and can buy stock in Goody's.

~Security: My gear isn't worth stealing, but in the event a concert goer gets overenthusiastic, decides to jump on stage and takes a swipe at me, have a few really big and dumb guys, English speaking preferred, who can toss that person over the security gate onto his head. Make sure said meatheads have a method of audio-visually recording any such removals, and that all recordings are property of me and shall be posted, by me, on the Internet at my leisure.

~Transportation: Get me to the show in one piece, alive, and on time. Horse drawn carriages are strictly prohibited - so are mopeds. Minivans are completely unacceptable, as the performer will not be caught dead in such a hideous contraption. Limosines are also forbidden, and so are hearses.

~Other: I reserve all rights to be as impossible as possible, without notice, with insane demands, which must be completely fulfilled, otherwise this contract is null and void and you owe me six million dollars, cash, in nonsequential, unmarked twenty, fifty, and hundred dollar US bills.

Whitney Houston demanded 4 Mercedes or BMWs all of which needed to be armored!  ??? ;D

Her menu included Grilled Chicken BEAST numerous times.  ;D

I've heard that JLo has many demands...I haven't gotten that far yet.

I heard Britney Spears requires a certain color M&M in her dressing room. ::)

My excessive rock star demand.....    ;D


Food

-  nothing that has tomatoes or onions in it.

-  five large pizzas, enough for the whole band.

-  they better not have anchovies on the pizza.

-  the M&M's.......  I don't mind green M&M's.

-  water, I could case less, what type it is.

-  Dr. Pepper, I love drinking it,  so a bottle of it, would be great.

- since I don't drink alcohol, they don't need to provided any alcohol

The Room

-  an X-Box 360

-  a HD-TV

-  an HD-DVD player

-  a phone

-  really good toilet paper

-  air conditioning is a must

-  clean room

Stage requirements

-  a decent sound system

- a stage large enough for  me and the band

- spotlights, for the band, and yes, even  me

-  a pyrotechnic an, the best possible

-  no disco balls!

Security

-  the best possible, with head phones, cell phones,  and C.I.A.  trained type, just in cause of the wackos.

-  videos, sound recording, and unauthorized recordings or bootlegs, are ok.  Wiithin limits

- said videos, sound recording, and unauthorized recordings or bootlegs, could end up being put up for sale.

Transportation

-  I need and the band as well, to be there in one piece.

-  a helicopter will be bring to and from the airport.

-  or possiblly  Limosines

Hey J-Lo  can get away, with being unreasonable....

;D

I think it's ridiculous the demands these celebrities have. I could care less about what color M & M to eat. They all taste the same to me, just a different color.  :D

But Van Halen cares!  ;D